Friday, December 7, 2007

The News Nobody Wants to Hear...

Since all of the diagnostic tests requiring sedation (and an empty stomach) were complete, I had full access to the hospital menu. At this point only a couple of items were appetizing to me, including bacon, banana bread, and apple juice.

We spent the bulk of the day hoping that we would get the biopsy results. It was hard to make the time pass despite all things (TV, paper, magazines, etc.) I had to pass the time. I found that the most enjoyable way to pass the time was to have visitors. It was nice to have friends and colleagues stop in to say hi in the early afternoon. Even through my diagnosis was still undetermined at that point, it was still good to explain everything that had happened up to that point.

My primary doctor in the hospital stopped by around 3:30pm to see how I was doing. I asked if the biopsy results had come back yet. He said he hadn't seen anything yet, but would check again.

Dad came down to pick up the kids for the weekend around 4 pm. This was great for Deb and I, since we knew that I would be in the hospital for the remainder of the weekend. Knowing that Deb could stay with me in the hospital was a real comfort. Before Dad headed home, the kids came up to visit me in my room. There was a strange combination of joy and fear as I saw my 3 year olds sit on my hospital bed. Landon quickly figured out how to operate the switches on the adjustable bed. Morgan sat quietly next to me describing her new pink penguin stuffed animal.

At 4:30 I received a call from my primary doctor at the hospital informing me that the liver biopsy had come back positive for melanoma. I would be getting a consult from an Oncologist around 9 am tomorrow. As I was the one who took the call, I informed Deb and Dad. We all just sat in silence, all I could do is just hold Morgan close. Having the kids there was just too emotional for Deb and I, so Deb helped Dad take the kids back to the car. When Deb returned we cried together. When I was diagnosed with cancer (and no other information) it was natural to assume the worst. I was experiencing discomfort in my left chest, so after getting pain medication I drifted off to sleep.

Deb went to look for more information, getting a laptop from our friend Karen and asking her uncle (physician) questions regarding melanoma in the liver. Deb's mom arrived late evening to lend support. As hard as it was, we stayed as positive as we could.

Mike, Derrick, Joe
Wolfram, Tom
Deb's mom

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