Cautious Optimism...

As I write this entry, I am getting my 2nd chemo treatment at Karmanos. Since some time has passed since my last entry, I won't get to the meaning of the entry title until the end...

After being on medical leave for almost 2 months, I returned to the office the previous Tuesday (22-Jan). I had been in contact with my boss and a number of colleagues during my time away from work, so it felt like much less than 2 months had passed since I last stepped into the building. My first day back went better than I expected, particularly since I didn't know how fatigued I would be over a full working day. Many of my colleagues were glad to see me back in the office, interested in knowing how I was doing, and offered words of encouragement for my "climb."

I had enough energy after my first day of work to practice with my band, Inline5. For those of you who have not seen us perform (i.e. most of you), we are 5 engineers in Ford Research that don't mind embarrassing ourselves in public (everyone has lead vocals on at least 1 song). All kidding aside, we have a lot of fun practicing weekly and performing a few times a year. I have been the drummer in the band for 18 months, on an instrument I hadn't played since the 9th grade. Fortunately drumming is like riding a bike; no matter how long you are away from it, you can pick it back up quickly.

I thank the Lord that my side effects from the treatment have been relatively minor. When I went back to work I had developed a rash on the back of both of my hands. At my Thursday doctor appointment we found that it MAY BE due to the clinical trial drug I am taking. One of the common side effects of the drug is dry and itching skin. My oncologist's assistant had seen similar looking rashes before. She recommended an appropriate moisturizing agent and the rash cleared up by the weekend. My blood work showed that the platelets (blot clotting component) were in the normal range but the white blood cell count was low and would have to come up before my next chemo treatment.

Every morning since my first chemo treatment I have looked at my pillow and tugged at my hair to see if it was falling out. On Wednesday (23-Jan), 12 days after my first treatment, I was able to pull strands out easily. In my case, my hair didn't just fall out at once, but by Friday my hair was thinning out rapidly. 10 minutes after returning home from work on Friday I put the clippers on the lowest setting and removed what was left of my hair. It is a little ironic that this hair(less)style was the one that Deb didn't want me to do (before I started treatments, of course). My mother, who tells it like it is, prefers the bald look.

Deb's mom came to visit over the weekend. On Saturday I woke up with some pain in my upper left back that felt like a muscle strain. Deep breathing was difficult since I had acute pain in my back. Fortunately it did not feel like there was fluid in my lung. Deb and her mom took the kids sledding in the morning and shopping in the afternoon. I took it easy on the couch.

On Sunday our pastor at Genesis preached on being under pressure (Acts 16:16-32). Paul and Silas were preaching in Philippi. A slave girl, who was a fortuneteller (and money maker for her owners), pestered Paul to the point where he commanded the evil spirit out of her. Her owners, upset since they no longer had their profitable business, roughed up Paul and Silas and riled up others against them in the market square. The judges took the side of the mob and ordered that Paul and Silas be stripped and severely lashed in public. After the beating they were put in a cell that was the most secure in the prison. Clearly Paul and Silas were under pressure, more pressure than most of us will ever face in our lifetime. Instead of groaning or complaining about their situation, Paul and Silas prayed and sang hymns, which shocked the other prisoners. An earthquake caused all of the cell doors to open, releasing all of the prisoners. The guard who was supposed to prevent Paul and Silas from escape feared what would happen to him and prepared to commit suicide. Paul stopped him and led him and his family to salvation. I understand that prayer and singing hymns won't necessarily save you from pressure in your life, but Paul and Silas didn't know that the doors would swing open either.

On Monday I was back at work for my second week, getting settled into my office, and making progress on assignments that had been on the backburner since I went into the hospital. My back pain had subsided by Thursday and my breathing returned to normal. I also resumed exercising this week, a brisk walk for 30 minutes each morning on the treadmill.

And that brings us to today and "cautious optimism"... Before I could get my second chemo infusion, my oncologist had to ensure that my blood work met the requirements of the protocol. My white cell count climbed back to normal over the past week. This means that my bone marrow is healthy, important for me fighting infection. In addition, the enzyme level associated with the activity of melanoma in my liver dropped when compared to my initial visit before starting treatment. These findings, in addition to how much better I have felt the last 2 weeks, are positive results. I'm not through the woods yet, closer to just entering the forest. We won't have another CT scan done until mid-February, but we were warned that the scans might not respond in the same manner as the blood work. It is a long road ahead, but I'm hoping days like this outnumber the alternative.